The Enemy of Our Ego—GLSnext Event Series Notes

From self-awareness, to self-promotion, to self-interest, every leader has to maintain a balance of how they navigate both the world around them and the emotions within them. During his talk at the GLSnext Event Series on May 5, 2022, Ryan Holiday showed us how great leaders have tapped into ancient and timeless wisdom. He also challenged us to reevaluate our reactions, our daily rhythms, and our ego.

Enjoy these official notes from Ryan Holiday’s talk on The Enemy of Our Ego.

Philosophy is about solving the problems of life, not theoretically, but practically. Philosophy is about:

• • • Responding to adversity
    • Finding peace
    • Doing important work

3 Philosophical Principles and Mantras

1. The Obstacle is the Way

Story: Everything goes wrong for the Emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius, in 160 AD—from pandemic to plague to historic flooding to invasions. His reign experiences a series of troubles.

• • • You have a choice when you face trouble.
      • When we look at a circumstance, whether it’s a pandemic or financial difficulties, a troublesome employee, or logistical issues, we have the choice—is it unfortunate or fortunate? The stoics would say we get to decide.
      • Marcus Aurelius writes, “While our actions can be impeded, while stuff can get in our way, nothing can impede our intentions or dispositions. We can accommodate and adapt everything to our own purposes. We can convert an obstacle to our own purposes. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
      • We have the opportunity to step up and use what life has given us in some way, perhaps not in the way we planned, perhaps not in the way we desire, but we can nevertheless use it.

• • • The discipline of perception.
      • Deciding how you see things and deciding to use what life gives you is one of our most important skills.
      • We control our attitude, our opinions, our beliefs, and our emotions.
      • You control what you do about a situation and how you’re going to respond.
      • Laura Ingles Wilder says, “There’s good in everything, if only we look for it.”
      • What are you going to look for?
      • Excellence is using the difficult, the unexpected, and the situation to become better, do better, to be of service, to lead, and to rise to that challenge.

2. Ego is the Enemy

Most empires collapse from within. Most problems are self-inflicted. Most errors are unforced. At the root of so many of them is ego.

• • • The difference between ego and confidence.
      • In Alcoholics Anonymous, they have a definition that ego is a conscious separation from other people, from reality, from the facts, and from your weaknesses.
      • The acronym EGO stands for Edging God Out. It also edges other people out. It edges everything out but your own selfishness.
      • Confidence is understanding where your weaknesses are. Confidence makes room for vulnerability.
      • We have to accept that we’re not unbreakable, that we are human beings, and we make mistakes.
    • How do you combat ego?
      • Limit exposure to social media.
      • Seek out things that humble you.
      • Surround yourself with people who are better, smarter, faster, and more experienced than you.
    • How ego holds you back.
      • The reason ego holds us back is that it prevents us from not wanting to look foolish. But it’s only in foolishness that we improve.
      • If you can’t admit you don’t know something, how are you going to learn?
      • If you can’t admit that you’re struggling, that you’re failing, that you have these vulnerabilities, you deprive yourself of this ability to get better.
      • You can’t get the help you need if you’re afraid to ask.
    • How humility serves you and others.
      • Humility allows us to be vulnerable.
      • Humility elevates not only us, but the people around us.

3. Stillness is the Key

• • • In stillness is where your best work comes from.
      • Ryan’s routine to get into stillness includes getting up early, walking with his kids in nature, journaling, then he tackles the most important task of the day in deep-focus work. He also avoids his phone for the first 30 minutes to an hour of his day.
      • If you don’t have space for reflection, then you will just react.
      • The key to stillness is how much you can concentrate in uninterrupted focus.
      • To find more stillness, you may have to say no a lot.
      • Everything you say yes to is saying no to something else.
      • When you eliminate the inessential, you make space for the important things.

Summary:

• • • The obstacle is the way. There is no problem so bad that there is not some good in it that we can’t move forward from.
    • Ego is the enemy. We’ve never thought that more egos are the solutions to our problems. In fact, we know that ego is the cause of our problems, and we want to make room for humility and confidence, self-awareness, vulnerability, openness, and connection.
    • Stillness is the key. Good things come when we are connected, present, locked in, and saying yes to the essential, and no to the inessential.