Get free, instant access to GLS Podcast Episode Show Notes. Leverage episode summaries, key takeaways, reflection questions, resources mentioned, related links and applicable downloads.
SUMMARY:
As former lead kidnapping negotiator for the FBI, master negotiator Chris Voss trains and advises leaders on complex mediations. In this engaging interview, Paula Faris draws out stories from bank robbery and kidnapping negotiations–drawing out transferrable learnings along the way. Learn how Chris uses the specific techniques of mirroring, positive endings and identifying fear to build the tactical empathy that leads to positive outcomes.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Anytime a sentence starts with “I want,” “I need” or “I’d like,” you’re in a negotiation.
- As you begin a negotiation, the other side needs to know that you see things from their point of view.
- Let the other person know you see it from their perspective right away and you’ll get them talking.
- Don’t say, “I understand.” Show them you understand. “I understand,” is shorthand for, “I want you to stop talking.”
- Everyone can learn the skills in negotiation.
- When in a negotiation, lean into your team. Your team will hear things that you don’t hear.
- Mirroring is repeating 1-3 words that they just said. That will entice them to give you more information.
- The last impression is the lasting impression. Positive calm endings will sway conversations in your direction.
- In every negotiation, the person on the other side is asking, “How are you going to help me?” and, “Do you understand?”
- I know the market and human nature.
- Identifying negatives diffuses negatives.
- Our greatest fear is the fear of the unknown. Injecting predictability into the situation, diffuses fear. Predictability builds trust.
- “What’s the next step?” is a question designed to make you feel like you’re in control. You feel safer when you are in control.
- Brain science tells us that the brain is largely negative. Fear of loss fuels our decision-making. The two-millimeter shift is to diffuse fear of loss by simply calling it out.
- When communicating difficult information, use curiosity instead of accusation. This allows your statement to get past the other person’s defenses so they can consider it.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
- Chris Voss says that whenever you begin a sentence with “I want,” “I need,” or “I’d like,” you are in a negotiation. Think about an area in your life where you have recently used one of those phrases. For what are you negotiating? Who are the parties in that negotiation?
- Take a look at the list of tactics that Chris unpacked in this podcast below. How might you use each of the tactics in the negotiation you identified above?
-
- Understanding the other person’s perspective
- Mirroring
- Positive calm endings
- Identifying negatives
- Creating predictability
- Diffusing fear of loss
- Curiosity
- What is one thing you could do today to move your negotiation forward?
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
IQ
EQ
Haiti
Carjacking
Chris Voss Session at GLS
Tony Robbins
RELATED LINKS:
Chris Voss
The Black Swan Group
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
Paula Faris
Journeys of Faith with Paula Faris
The Global Leadership Summit
Chris Voss
CEO & Founder | The Black Swan GroupPaula Faris
Founder | CARRY Media™Episode 067: Chris Voss and Paula Faris on Negotiation
TOPICS IN THIS PODCAST
Conflict ManagementLeading OthersRelational IntelligenceAs former lead kidnapping negotiator for the FBI, master negotiator Chris Voss trains and advises leaders on complex mediations. In this engaging interview, Paula Faris draws out stories from bank robbery and kidnapping negotiations–drawing out transferrable learnings along the way. Learn how Chris uses the specific techniques of mirroring, positive endings and identifying fear to build the tactical empathy that leads to positive outcomes.
On This Podcast
Chris Voss
The Black Swan Group
Chris Voss founded The Black Swan Group, a firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. A 24-year veteran of the FBI, he was the lead international kidnapping negotiator and was trained not only by the FBI, but by Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. In his book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, Voss breaks down these strategies so that anyone can use them in the workplace, in business or at home.
Paula Faris
CARRY Media™
Paula Faris is an Emmy-Award winning journalist, speaker, best-selling author of Called Out: Why I Traded Two Dream Jobs For A Life Of True Calling, and host of the Paula Faris Faith & Calling podcast, where she talks to inspirational people about what they're called to do and who they're called to be. Faris spent the last nine years at ABC news, during which she was co-anchor of Good Morning America weekend edition and co-host of The View. While at the network she reported on everything from politics, news and entertainment to sports and faith. In 2022, Faris launched CARRY Media™ with the desire to champion, advocate and celebrate working mothers across America.
Show Notes
Get free, instant access to GLS Podcast Episode Show Notes. Leverage episode summaries, key takeaways, reflection questions, resources mentioned, related links and applicable downloads.
SUMMARY:
As former lead kidnapping negotiator for the FBI, master negotiator Chris Voss trains and advises leaders on complex mediations. In this engaging interview, Paula Faris draws out stories from bank robbery and kidnapping negotiations–drawing out transferrable learnings along the way. Learn how Chris uses the specific techniques of mirroring, positive endings and identifying fear to build the tactical empathy that leads to positive outcomes.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
IQ
EQ
Haiti
Carjacking
Chris Voss Session at GLS
Tony Robbins
RELATED LINKS:
Chris Voss
The Black Swan Group
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
Paula Faris
Journeys of Faith with Paula Faris
The Global Leadership Summit
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