Month: March 2017

Lies Leaders Believe: Authentic Relationships

Posted on March 14, 2017 by - Articles, Emotional Intelligence, Leading Yourself, Relational Intelligence, Team Building, Wellness, Women Leaders, Women Leaders - Leading Yourself

I’d seen the headlines. I’d watched the interviews.

With every moral failure in the life of a Christian leader, I’d inwardly wince and wonder, “How did they let this happen to themselves?”

And then I found out.

I had been doing life and local church ministry with a core team of people for thirteen years. One morning, I woke up to the reality that two of our senior leaders were involved in an inappropriate relationship. I loved these people. I was shocked senseless.

Over the years, these two people had played invaluable roles in my life. They had loved me, served me, coached me; they had received my confessions, counseled me through mistakes, and consistently supported me. In short, they had helped me become a better version of myself.

I had thought I was doing the same for them.

The reality was that there were aspects of their lives in dramatic disrepair, threatening the destruction of their integrity, their families and their ministries. They had been seduced by lies – the ringleader of which was, “No one is strong enough to handle the truth of what’s happening in my life.”

In the bitter wake that followed the revelation, my sense of betrayal gave way to a deep grief over what had happened to my friends. They were drowning. But they wouldn’t let anyone close enough to help them.

Sadly, they aren’t alone. The lies my friends heard are the lies many leaders are listening to right now.

I know myself.

The truth is…your blind spots will blindside you. If you don’t have someone who has permission to help you see yourself as you truly are—not as you want to be seen, or “must” be seen by those you lead—your blind spots will eventually catch up with you. But instead of a slow, merciful uncovering at the hand of someone who cares about you, they will likely be exposed in jarring, embarrassing confrontation.

This isn’t the right time to bring this up.

The truth is…the cost will only rise with time. If you are caught in some kind of self-destructive or sinful behavior, the longer you wait to be honest, the higher the price you will pay. Each day you wait prolongs the time it will take for people to trust you again, particularly those whom you love the most. There will be nothing good gained by delay. You can’t control the outcome, but there will be less damage right now than if you wait any longer.

No one understands my life.

The truth is…you are not the exception. Whatever reason you claim—especially if it is connected to “leadership”—rest assured, you have been sold a bad bill of goods. This need for real, honest, life-giving connection is a part of what it means to be a human being. Leadership will offer many opportunities to make you believe you are the exception. Don’t get suckered into this one.

It’s just too difficult to find someone I can be honest with.

The truth is…the work is worth it. There’s nothing about finding, maintaining and growing a deep, personal connection that comes easy when you’re a leader. The incessant demands on your attention and the limitless supply of needs will never make it convenient. But the hard work now bypasses a different kind of unavoidable, gut-wrenching work later.

 

A Personal Word to Pastors

 Finally, I just want to share a personal word with pastors. I realize your position as a spiritual leader—one that typically is the source of your livelihood and income—is on the line when it comes to full disclosure to another human being. I’ve sat in that seat as a lead pastor, and I understand that sometimes the price of honesty seems too high.

If I could speak to you, friend to friend, I would beg you to recognize that you follow the One who is always on the side of the Truth. If you would ally yourself with Him and dare to trust what He says about the primacy of Truth, then no matter what happens next, you will find yourself standing on the solid ground with Him. You will not be alone and you will not be fending for yourself.

You will find mercy in the place you need it most. I believe you will find that a real connection with another human being creates room for a real connection with a strong, capable God who loves you. You trusted Him enough to give Him your heart once—why would you withhold it from Him now?

If we say that we have fellowship with him while we are walking in darkness, we lie and do not do what is true; but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:6-7)

Corner #2: Bad Connection

Posted on March 13, 2017 by - Articles, Leading Yourself, Wellness

Last time, we saw that thriving in life and leadership depends on the kind of relational connections you have in your closest circles.

In the Four Corners framework, there are only four possibilities for relational connection. Three will destroy you and one will help you succeed. The first destructive option was Corner #1: No Connection.

But, the danger is not gone. Corner #2 is Bad Connection.

A “bad connection” leaves you feeling like you are “bad” in some way. These relationships leave you feeling like, no matter what, you are not good enough. While this kind of connection might be overtly abusive, that’s not always the case. A bad connection might simply be someone who is highly critical. A boss with demanding expectations that can never be met. A friend who only points out the bad. A partner who is shaming or guilt-inducing. A co-worker who leaves you feeling, “I am not good enough.”

Trying to live and perform from this corner works against all of our internal systems of thriving…both personally and professionally. We were not designed to do well when we’re feeling bad. And the symptoms are debilitating.

  • Clinical symptoms: Discouragement, guilt, shame, anger and resentment, feelings of inferiority, hopelessness, depression, loss of energy, anxiety and fear, approval-seeking, hyper-vigilance. The fear of making a mistake. A high concern around incurring this person’s anger or disapproval. Driven to the temptation to self-medicate. And more.
  • Relational symptoms: People-pleasing dominates your mind. You feel controlled by this person. You experience anger and resentment in the relationship, as well as gossip and a lack of real intimacy. A breakdown of direct communication. Avoidance of the person either passively or actively. The good moments are more times of relief or momentary “approval” than real connection. And many others.
  • Performance symptoms: Not performing well because of the pressure you feel, an inordinate focus on avoiding a mistakes, perfectionistic obsessions. You have lost the big picture and the motivation to dream and be creative. And others as well.

You just can’t perform to your best when you are worried about failure, criticism, or lack of approval.

If you find yourself discouraged in a Corner #2 relationship, it is time to address it. Here are some practical suggestions:

  1. Do an honest audit. Do you feel “not good enough” in a significant relationship? Name it. And remember, it might be more than one person, like a team, for example. Or your family.
  1. Find someone wise who can help you figure out next steps. Are you able to address the bad relationship? Have you approached the person and said, “I am struggling in our relationship. I often feel as if I am not pleasing you…and like I never really can.” Is it even possible to have a positive dialogue with this connection? If not, what might you do next?
  1. Deal with the Corner #2 voices in your own head. Bad connections have a much stronger effect if there are critical voices in your own head that agree with them! Get some help and resolve your own self-critical perfectionistic guilt, shame and anger.

I want you to feel good about life, your work and yourself.

Do something about this awful corner of guilt, shame and discouragement. God is for you. There is no condemnation placed on you in your faith, and He does not judge you for this. He only helps. Find others who will do the same!

God Bless,

Henry

A Small Business Credits the Summit for Growth and Nationally Recognized Culture

Posted on March 13, 2017 by - Because of the GLS, Business, Culture, North America, Productivity, Stories, Team Building

Todd Eichholz was looking for change.

As a businessman in commercial real estate, he began to wonder what God had in mind for his life. His heart stirred to lead a team, rather than trying to do everything on his own.

He began to ask God to direct his path, wondering if there was a way he could use business to do good, and give back.

Little did he know God was orchestrating a plan to breathe new life into his work, and the lives of the people Todd would lead.

God orchestrates a unique connection

It all started with a connection. While Todd began looking for new opportunities to use business to do good, Bob Olson, the owner of one of the contract companies Todd did business with regularly, was looking for a partner. It created a spark.

Bob, 75, and Todd, 35, were already great friends through doing business together, and after a long lunch, Todd joined Bob as co-owner of A&A Paving Contractors.

Knowing their new start together would require a good leadership foundation, Bob invited Todd to attend The Global Leadership Summit for the first time.

Through what they learned together, their business was turned upside down for the better.

“The GLS spoke right to my heart,” Todd shared. “It was like they knew everything I was struggling with and what I needed to do. It resonated with me, and I no longer felt alone. I was changed. The passion is contagious.”

Todd quickly became a regular attendee, taking in everything he could. “I implement everything I learn at the GLS,” Todd shared. “I also follow the GLSnext app. I read all the books. I watch all the videos. And they’ve not only impacted me, but my whole team, and even their families. ‘Everyone wins when a leader gets better!’”

The GLS inspires Kingdom impact in business

Bob and Todd have a perspective on their business unlike most other contract companies. A&A Paving is a Christian-run business with a focus on treating people fairly, and getting people involved in serving the community.

“It’s bigger than building parking lots,” Todd says. “Our staff and clients are our team, and our model for success starts with building a great culture—not just at work, but outside of work as well. We even set aside time once a month for our staff to volunteer at local non-profit organizations. And our people are all in!”

But before their culture could change, Todd was challenged at The GLS to make changes in himself.

“The first biggest thing I got out of The GLS was a message on creating margin in your life,” Todd explains. “I realized the importance of carving out time away from the business to give back to my family, and allow my team to give back to their families as well. I cut out the things in my work where my passion levels were low, and refocused that time on my family.

“As a result, I’ve never been more productive. And my family is doing better than we ever were before.”

Not only is Todd’s family happier, and he more productive at work, A&A Paving has tripled in size since he began attending the GLS!

In a business run with such a great culture, they’ve not only grown significantly, but they’ve also seen very low turnover. People want to work there because they like how Bob and Todd value culture, and always seek to improve through what they learn at The GLS and through leadership resources.

And this year, they won Contractor of the year award for their industry.

“There’s no way we could be where we are today without The GLS,” Todd says. “And I thank God for speaking to us through what we learn, and for continuing to walk with us on this journey.”

You owe it to yourself and your business to attend The GLS

Todd is volunteering his time at his local host site. He’s spreading the word, and hopes to invite 100 people from his local business network to attend, because he knows that when a leader gets better, everyone wins. He and Bob are also excited to get their team on board to sponsor a site in Mexico  in 2017. “We have been blessed by the GLS as a team, and we are excited about paying it forward to open a site in a new location and see the ripple effect of what God might do!” Todd exclaims.

“I would encourage everyone to go to The GLS,” Todd shares. “You owe it to yourself and your business. Give it a shot. This is one of the least expensive conferences in the world. I’ve spent thousands of dollars to attend conferences. The GLS is more than worth the (low) cost to attend.”

Learn more about Todd’s story in this short video:

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To learn more about a attending The Global Leadership Summit at a host site near you,
go to willowcreek.com/summit.

Highlights from the GLS in Manila, Philippines

Posted on March 9, 2017 by - Asia, Stories

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How to Drive Performance & Engagement—Marcus Buckingham—2017 GLS Faculty Spotlight

Posted on March 9, 2017 by - News & Updates

We are thrilled to announce that Marcus Buckingham, the world’s leading expert on strengths and employee engagement, will be joining us again for the 2017 Global Leadership Summit. Here’s a quick look at Marcus’ brand new work in the field of performance management.

Every single organization is searching for ways to increase performance and engagement—ideally without blowing up the company and starting from scratch. But how can you do it?

We know the answer. But it’s easy to overlook, because we expect the solution to such a crucial problem to be complex, theoretical, difficult. Instead it’s deceptively simple. If you want to increase performance and engagement, you don’t need to get bogged down in extensive lists of competencies, or convoluted cascades of goals, or rigid feedback systems.

What you need to do is ensure that team leaders have frequent one-to-one check-ins with their team members about near-term future work.

It really is that simple. Once a week, each team member meets with the team leader so he or she can course correct or coach or tweak to make the team member more productive.

We’ve done research on many different organizations, and the data patterns are all the same: add in weekly check-ins, with a tool built for usage, and you see wonderful and immediate increases in engagement.

Watch this short video to get to know Marcus Buckingham better.

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 Marcus Buckingham (GLS 2017, 2007, 2004) is a best-selling author and founder of The Marcus Buckingham Company.  He is the world’s leading authority on strengths, performance and engagement, founded The Marcus Buckingham Company following 30 years at Gallup. He is the best-selling author of multiple books, including Now, Discover Your Strengths. A Summit favorite, Buckingham will challenge everyone to rethink their vital leadership function of performance management—based on his latest multi-year research, recently featured in Harvard Business Review. This post originally appeared on The Marcus Buckingham Company website here.