Month: March 2017

Corner #3: Pseudo Connection

In our ongoing discussions on relational connections, we have seen two really bad options so far.

The first was No Connection (Corner #1) where none of our needs are met because we are cut off from anyone who can provide what we need. The second was Bad Connection (Corner #2) where we have relationships that leave us feeling “bad” in some way. Not a very good menu of options, those two!

Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that not all less-than-helpful connections are painful…at first. In fact, the connections in next corner can feel really, really good. The bad news is that the they are painful in the end. These substances or people will feel just as bad, if not worse, and will likely cause even more destruction as time goes on. And that brings us to Corner #3: Pseudo Connection.

A pseudo connection is a connection we pursue in order to feel good in some way. Isolation is no good. Bad connections are no good. After a while, we might say, “I just want to feel good.” So, we connect to something or someone that does exactly that…it feels good. It medicates us in some way. It provides relief from the pain and stress, and a place to hide from it all. And there is no shortage of options.

An illicit relationship or illicit sex. A substance we abuse. Internet addictions. A hobby that gets way too much of your heart, time or money. Materialism. Food. Gravitating to friends or co-workers who only think you are “wonderful” and never give any negative feedback.

Or, the more acceptable versions: Making more money. Getting one more promotion. Great performance numbers. Being idealized or admired by others in the company or circle of friends. Looking ideal to others. The list goes on.

Corner #3 is anything we turn to that will make us feel good—but in reality does have a lasting enhancement of our lives, nor does it meet the need inside to really connect with people who fuel and guide our growth and development. Leaders sometimes even get addicted to high performance and push their people more and more, because the glow of the last milestone has worn off and they need their next fix. It does not last. And the cycle goes on as the culture diminishes.

It can look like this:

  • Clinical Symptoms: Emotional ups and down, emptiness as you come off the last “high,” anxiety about being discovered, frenetic activity to fuel the addiction, guilt over the behaviors, a shallow emotional and spiritual life, stress from the pursuit of “more,” burnout, out-of-control behavior such as sex or overspending that has become reckless, exceeds limits, creates health issues, and on and on.
  • Relational Symptoms: Lack of intimacy, controlling behavior and conflict in your significant relationships as the Corner #3 feel-good experience begins to control your time, anxiety in those relationships as hiding increases, pressure on those around you to keep up, loss of significant relationships, duplicity and others.
  • Performance Symptoms: Performance is interrupted as Corner #3 activity takes up more and more of your life, loss of focus causing a lack of excellence, decline in health that has an effect on performance, loss of motivation to pursue real goals, grandiosity that gets in the way of receiving honest feedback, etc.

If you find yourself wondering if something (or someone) has turned into a Corner #3 behavior, take these steps:

  1. Audit your time. How much time, energy or money is going toward things we could classify into Corner #3? Is it out of whack in some way? If so, that is a sign it may have more of you than it should. And worse, you are not pursing real connection when you are spending this time and energy on non-nutritious pursuits.
  1. How intentionally have you addressed it? Did you say, “I need to cut back on _____” and yet you found your willpower did not last? Look at that failure directly.
  1. Seek an outside perspective for feedback and help. Ask three of the most important stakeholders in your life if they notice excess in this particular area. If they express concerns, and you have not been able to “just say no,” get some real help. Reach out to a coach, a recovery group, a therapist, a friend or someone else who can really help you.

Remember, Corner #3 feels really good for a minute. But ultimately, it will not meet your needs. And it will end in something really bad for your relationships, business, health and finances. The longer you stay in Corner #3, the more you lose opportunities and the potential fulfillment of your gifts.

Get serious about this trap and see it for what it is.

And join in next time to see the ultimate connection in Corner #4.

Blessings,

Henry

Google’s HR Boss Shares 10 Secrets to Running a Company Everyone Wants to Work For—Laszlo Bock—2017 GLS Faculty Spotlight

The 2017 Global Leadership Summit will feature a session with Laszlo Bock, who helps us understand Google’s innovative leadership culture. In the article below, Bock shares 10 Secrets to Running a Company Everyone Wants to Work For.

Since joining Google as its senior vice president of People Operations in 2006, Laszlo Bock has seen the company transform into a powerful global company, growing from 6,000 employees to nearly 60,000.

With his team, Bock developed management strategies to make Google one of the most desirable places to work for top tech talent, he writes in his book, “Work Rules!

This approach has helped Google become one of the happiest companies in America.

Here are Bock’s top 10 management tips, which he’s used at Google and recommends you bring to your workplace:

1. Give meaning to your employees’ work.

Your company cannot achieve constant growth if your employees work simply for a paycheck or if your company wants only to become a market leader. The work needs to be connected to a higher purpose.

It’s why Google proudly has a mission statement that is impossible to achieve, Bock writes. By finding employees who want to passionately “organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful,” Google is committing itself to a moral rather than a business goal, and one that must constantly be pursued.

2. Trust your team.

As a manager, you should help guide your employees’ progress and evaluate their performance; you should not micromanage, excessively monitoring employees to the point of trying to do their work for them.

This level of trust should work both ways, Bock says. Google has semiannual performance surveys for employees to rate their managers anonymously, and managers are strongly encouraged to discuss the results with their team.

3. Only hire people who are better than you.

Bock says his approach to hiring is to never compromise on a high standard of quality, regardless of the situation. Find someone who can do a certain job better than you could.

“A bad hire is toxic, not only destroying their own performance, but also dragging down the performance, morale and energy of those around them,” Bock writes. “If being down a person means everyone else has to work harder in the short term, just remind them of the last jerk they had to work with.”

4. Keep conversations about development separate from performance reviews.

If the only time your employees hear feedback on their work is annual or semiannual performance reviews, they’ll begin to associate criticism with failure, which can hold them back.

Bock suggests regularly speaking with your employees about their work, and keep performance reviews strictly relegated to annual goals and whether or not they were met. “If you’re doing this well, the performance discussions will never be a surprise because you’ll have had conversations all along the way, and the employees will have felt your support at each step,” he says.

5. Pay attention to your best and worst performers.

If you had to put your employees on a bell curve, pay close attention to the outliers on either side, Bock recommends.

Determine what makes your best performers excel and have them teach their skills to the rest of the team.

And look at your worst performers. Remember why you hired them, and then determine if the role they’re in simply isn’t tapping into their talent or if they turned out to be a bad fit for the company. If it’s the former, give them a chance to excel with new responsibilities; if it’s the latter, let them go not only for your team’s benefit, but theirs as well.

6. Be selectively generous.

Bock says that many of Google’s famous perks are either free or relatively inexpensive. For example, there’s no need to invest in expensive training programs that aren’t guaranteed to be effective to scale. Instead, use your best employees as teachers, as mentioned above, and invite other guest speakers that are friends of the company.

Save your heavy expenses for the perks that really matter, like health benefits and retirement plan matching contributions. To Google, this also means paying a high price for free lunches and shuttle services, which they have found to be significant enough to employee well-being that they are worth the money.

7. “Pay unfairly.”

There have been times at Google when one employee received a stock award of around $10,000 and another employee in the same role received a stock award of $1 million, Bock says. It’s for the simple reason that the second employee was an elite performer.

To understand the logic, think of it like a professional baseball team. The Detroit Tigers, for example, pay Justin Verlander $28 million because he’s a Cy Young Award-winning pitcher they don’t want to see on the roster of another team.

Google has the luxury of a massive war chest to recruit the best employees away from rivals, but Bock says that the same logic should apply to smaller companies.

8. Nudge your employees in the right direction.

The best managers don’t help their employees develop desirable behaviors by making demands or forcing change. Lead the way with subtle gestures, he says.

If, for instance, you’d like to encourage more collaboration among your employees, you could begin sending team-wide emails pointing out individuals’ successes and ask for ideas on how to build off them.

9. Ease into change.

You will make mistakes as you try to improve your team’s performance. If you’re going to try an experiment, be transparent about your approach with your employees.

“That will help transform them from critics to supporters, and they’ll extend you more benefit of the doubt if things go awry,” Bock writes.

10. Keep things fun and innovative.

It’s important to realize there is no such thing as a perfect team workflow or office culture, and you will continually need to experiment and innovate. This doesn’t need to feel like a chore, Bock says.

“What’s beautiful about this approach is that a great environment is a self-reinforcing one: All of these efforts support one another, and together create an organization that is creative, fun, hardworking and highly productive,” he writes.

 

Laszlo Bock served as Google’s senior vice president of people operations, growing the company from 6,000 to more than 75,000 employees. Google has been recognized more than 150 times as an exceptional employer, including the #1 “Best Company to Work for in the United States” every year since 2012. Bock’s New York Times best-selling book, WORK RULES! has been published in more than 20 languages and garnered numerous honors. This post originally appeared here on Business Insider online.

Inspired in Latvia to Build Up Young Leaders

The recent GLS event in Latvia attracted more than 975 leaders for training and inspiration. We heard a lot of feedback about how people were encouraged and inspired by what they learned, and how they took it back to their work or ministry to lead change within their spheres of influence.

Thank you to those of you who’ve been praying and supporting this ministry!

Here is the story of just one attendee in Latvia and how the GLS helped change his work and ministry by reminding him that leadership is about service to others.

Three years ago, I became the youth leader in my church, but I had nobody who would teach or lead me. All I had was prayer. I asked God for people who could help me, but I was still alone.

Then I attended the GLS.

I must admit, this was the first time I saw how the Holy Spirit works with people through speakers. The GLS helped me to understand that most leaders and organizations, including me, don’t have a vision to lead people from where we are to where we want to be.

At the GLS, I finally heard what I was called to do!

I was inspired by greater leaders working together with young leaders. I was inspired to define my goals more clearly. And that helped me to work on a clear plan of action, and work better with my team. I’ve come to realize that support always inspires.

I want to be the salt and light in my community. I want to show people that biblical principles can help everyone—not just in the church, but also business. I have also started my own business. I still grow as a leader, but I try as much as possible to help every other leader I meet, especially young, emerging leaders.

Because of the GLS, my work and ministry have completely changed.

This is why I want to tell all of you to please be like spiritual fathers and mothers and friends for new, emerging leaders and support them.

After the GLS my prayer became much like Solomon’s:

“I don’t need gold, castles or other luxury things, but Lord, give me your wisdom for how to lead those you have trusted to me.”

 

Thank you to those of you who’ve been praying and supporting this ministry!