Month: March 2020

009: Season One Wrap Up

Be inspired and challenged to imagine your own opportunity for positive impact and change through others’ stories.

001 Vera Leung: For People

002 Nona Jones: For Empowerment

003 Jeremy Courtney: For Ending Violence

004 Harris III: For Awakening Wonder

005 Bianca Olthoff: For Using Your Voice

006 Sam Acho: For Believing in Yourself

007 Jo Saxton: For Wholistic Health

008 Danielle Strickland: For Better Together

 

The Global Leadership Summit 

 

5 Leadership Tips From a Pastor Who Battled the Ebola Epidemic in Liberia

Leaders attending the GLS in Liberia during the Ebola Epidemic

About six years ago, I found myself immersed in the Ebola Epidemic that claimed about 4,000 Liberian lives. During the crisis, I would sign in to Facebook and become inundated with an avalanche of pictures of the diseased and dying. I also saw the spewing out of negative, angry comments. Liberians were sliding down the treacherous slope of defeat and hopelessness. Fear was in ample supply. Confusion was everywhere. Entire families came down infected. Children became orphans, businesses laid off workers, not a single child or adult was sitting in a classroom, and the country was in a State of Emergency.

It is 2020 and the Coronavirus (COVID-19) is spreading rapidly in North America, Europe and Asia. My focus is on the escalating level of fear, confusion, helplessness and panic among millions, especially in the United States of America.

I saw my congregation go through this in Liberia. Week after week, I stood at the pulpit and looked into terrified eyes and prayed that no one had become infected or had lost a family member to Ebola. I was on the front-line of the fight; but a major part of our fight was striving to maintain a positive attitude even in the face of proof that conditions were worsening. That was the most difficult side of my pastoral work.

Let me share how I led my congregation into maintaining a positive, calm and result-oriented attitude during the Ebola crisis in Liberia.

These are my 5 top leadership tips that may be useful for pastors during this Coronavirus pandemic:

1. Find Daily Antidotes for Fear.

I posted many positive messages on social media about Ebola survivors. I looked for news that would stimulate hope and restoration. I asked my congregation to avoid overdosing on negative news and rumors.

2. Keep Awareness High.

I stayed informed. When members called me with questions, I was able to give answers and point them to credible sources. I organized a team of health professionals with the task to assemble and share important updates to our members.

3. Preach What I Call “Crisis Sermons”.

My members needed to see me exhibit courage in the face of this situation. I searched the Bible for scriptures on plagues, national disasters, hope and deliverance. I trusted the Holy Spirit to give me messages of hope.

4. Preserve the Church Community.

Coronavirus like Ebola fosters anti-social behavior. People are asked to do social distancing. To minimize the negative impact of this behavior, I organized an ongoing prayer initiative with groups of 20. In the American context, conference prayer calls work. Check on the most vulnerable and most isolated. Home visits are permitted as long as there is no health risk. In Liberia, we remained connected to poor families and quarantined families. We provided food and other essentials for quarantined families. We organized activities for small groups of children out of school.

5. Practice Self-Care.

This is a very stressful situation. As a pastor, I had to deal with my personal fears, concerns for your family’s safety, the fiscal and spiritual health of my church, as well as the emotional care of my members. This was psychologically draining. Because I was spending more time at home, I increased my prayer and devotion time. In addition, I carved out more recreational time with my family, caught up on my reading and just did some fun things I never had the time for.

 

Presently, there is no corona virus case in Liberia; but we are not waiting until the first case hits Liberia. At my church, information dissemination is ongoing. Preventative protocols are in place. We are not feeding our fear, rather we are talking to each other about following the protocols. We are praying for this pandemic to end and we have a testimony that this virus cannot survive in an environment of faith, hope, facts, healthy interventions and community care. Pastors, stay positive and help your congregation survive and thrive.

Shining a Light in the Darkness of Prison to Bring Hope & Change Lives

Lightbulb in darkness

It doesn’t have to be this way.

I remember doing a round in the confinement of the prison one day when I got to an inmate who called out my name. I turned around and suddenly I was watching him swallow 30 pills to try to commit suicide.

This is just an example of some of the scenes I see behind these prison walls. And this is the sole reason why the prison chaplaincy is needed—to help mend the broken and serve those that would try to dissolve all their problems by self-destruction. Too many times I have seen inmates make the choice of giving in to the gang environment or substance abuse due to thinking there is no hope for them.

There is an aroma of desperation in these walls, but it is my belief that it doesn’t have to be this way.

Every day, chaplains deal with crisis calls from family members and regular concerns about the day to day well-being of an inmate. Prison is a dark place for both staff and inmates. There is an aroma of desperation in these walls, but it is my belief that it doesn’t have to be this way.

Programs like The Global Leadership Summit shine a light in the darkness.

Living in Florida, you learn quickly that it is best to be well prepared for the weather—that means having the right supplies to survive the upcoming storms. The same is true in prison life—you need the right supplies, or in my case, the right programs to meet the needs of these men. The Global Leadership Summit is one of those programs.

The GLS helped these men find their way out of the darkness of non-self-worth—they enjoyed the live feed which made them feel they were a part of something bigger than themselves. They told me they used what was taught during the GLS and applied it to their own personal struggles. Whether it’s the GLS or Faith & Character programs, this light is a way of rescuing these men out of gang culture and a depressive way of thinking. They realize that maybe the world hasn’t given up on them. In fact, I have personally seen volunteers lend their time to help inmates turn their lives around and have a positive impact on their families.

They realize that maybe the world hasn’t given up on them.

I was so glad to be a part of the GLS. Getting a chance to see the expressions on their faces where I hadn’t seen hope for a while. It’s amazing how God uses people and programs to shine in the crevices of the human heart.

Being a chaplain and in charge of introducing inmates to various avenues of hope feels like I am holding a flashlight directly on someone that has been stuck in the dark for the better part of their life—but now they can find a way to hope.

I am glad I have the power and position to shine a light in the darkness and make an impact that will hopefully spill over into society as people recognize that there is such a thing called “second chance” in prison. Given the right opportunity, those individuals create their own light and shine, giving proof to what programs like the GLS can achieve inside institutions.

16 Free Resources for Leadership in a Season of Crisis

Introducing Global Leadership Network

With the outbreak of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) on the rise in many places around the world, people are asking, what do I do next? Many are looking for guidance and direction to make the next best decision to protect themselves, their families, their staff and their communities.

While we at the Global Leadership Network certainly make no claims of healthcare expertise, we recognize that sound leadership in a season of crisis can help prepare us for a new reality, solve difficult problems and provide hope.

To serve you in this season, we’ve curated 16 free leadership resources to equip and inspire everyone to use their influence to make a positive impact in our world.

Part 1: Practical Steps When Facing Difficult Decisions >>
Part 2: Practical Tools for a New Working Atmosphere >>
Part 3: Overcoming Fear & Embracing Both Reality and Hope >>

 

If you’re looking for additional resources to support you in your leadership, visit the Grow section on globalleadership.org. We are honored to serve you during this season.

Raising Up a Generous Generation: Brad and Drew Formsma Share about Legacy

Retro bicycle with aged brown leather saddle from circa 90s front concrete wall background. Vintage old style filtered photo

In partnership with the National Christian Foundation (NCF), the Global Leadership Network is presenting a four-part article series to highlight strategic ways to maximize your financial stewardship and increase your joy in giving. In Part 1, we will explore how to create a generosity legacy.

Drew Formsma can still remember his first big experience with generosity. His dad, Brad, brought in the newspaper and shared a story about a refugee family whose bikes had been stolen. “What are we going to do?” his dad asked.

“Us kids decided we wanted to go buy them bikes,” Drew says. So, they went to the bike store, bought some bikes for the family and loaded them in the back of their car. That was when Drew’s mom looked at Drew’s dad and asked, “Where do they live?”

No one had thought about that. They didn’t have an address, and they couldn’t get anyone to give it to them.

Unwilling to give up, the family drove, asked, and waited around for four hours until they finally met the family of Sudanese immigrants whose bikes had been stolen. Drew says the stolen bike had been this father’s only means of transportation—his way to and from work to support his family.

The grateful family hopped on the bikes and started riding around. The dad’s English was limited, but his gratitude was evident. “All he could say was, ‘I like bike. I like bike,’” Drew says.

This one story changed the trajectory of the Formsma’s lives forever. Brad went on to found an organization that promotes generosity and to host a podcast for generous leaders.

A legacy through shared experience

Drew’s dad remembers the first time he recognized the power of generosity too. One Saturday morning, Brad Formsma went for a ride in his grandfather’s truck to deliver some bread, but what Brad experienced that day was far more than food distribution.

At the first stop, his grandpa shared bread and kind words with a widow. The second stop involved bread and a white envelope with money. The third included a letter of referral to help someone get a job. At the fourth place, he delivered bread and visited with a woman who couldn’t leave her home. At the fifth stop, he gave his full attention to a retired employee whose wife was very sick. At the last stop, he shared bread and a tool with someone who needed to use it.

The principles of giving Brad saw lived out that day shaped the course of his life, and in turn, the lives of his wife and his three children, including Drew. Inspired by his great-grandpa’s example, Drew has created an acronym (MEE) to help parents remember how to get their children on board with generosity. MEE stands for:

  • Model: “Making your annual donation is fine, but if you really want your son or daughter to have the attitude of generosity, they need to see you putting these principles into action too. And we have more opportunities than we think,” Drew tells parents. “If we just lift our heads up and look around,” says Drew, “there are people around us every day…Every human being we encounter is an opportunity to engage in a life-changing act of generosity.”
  • Encourage: Pointing out opportunities to be generous and supporting children in their efforts are two important components in encouraging your children’s generosity. But Drew warns, “Be sure you aren’t forcing them; that will backfire. Help them notice people around them, and point out how they might be able to make a difference.”
  • Engage: According to Drew, engaging with your kids and making generosity a family practice is the most important thing you can do. He knows first-hand that it works, because that’s what his dad did. But he says it takes time, patience and transparency. “You won’t get it right every time, and your kids may resist initially. My parents don’t get it right every time, and they have been doing this with us for many years.”

 

A legacy that can change generations

Drew has some advice for his generation: “What if, instead of being known as tech necks or iGen—the self-absorbed generation that is too attached to our smartphones—we became known as the Generous Generation?” He encourages kids to use technology to reach people but to also “see beyond our screens” and work to reverse selfishness and lack of connection.

What if, instead of being known as tech necks or iGen—the self-absorbed generation that is too attached to our smartphones—we became known as the Generous Generation

Brad and Drew are multiplying this message by speaking at churches and with families across America through a day-long experience they’ve created for families called “Generosity for Generations.” Brad and Drew join family meetings to facilitate and guide conversation among the generations.

“One of the things we’ve learned from wealthy families we serve is that there are amazing stories of grandpa and grandma that have never been told,” Brad says. The Formsma’s help families learn about what is important to each other. “When we learn a little bit about each other…a little bit about ourselves and about God together, something beautiful happens.”

A lot of money is being transferred right now and will be in the next few decades, Brad says. “Families are leaving resources to their kids, and that’s fine. But helping kids understand where you give and why, that’s important.” Kids shouldn’t be expected to replicate their parents’ giving—in the same amounts to the same causes—but they need to know how the generation before them processed and prayed through their giving decisions.

One man, an 87-year-old chairman of a billion-dollar company said, after the Formsmas came in and facilitated conversations with his family, “Today, a story will not be buried, because it was shared. My only wish is we would have started talking about generosity sooner.”

If you want to talk with your family, Brad offers some questions you can answer:

  • Who first modeled giving for you?
  • Do your kids know where you give and why?
  • Do you involve your kids in your giving?

 

A legacy that heals

Still in his teens, Drew can already see family generosity as a way to heal families. “The biggest threat to teenagers right now is depression, suicide and broken families,” he says. “Generosity brings great joy, and families that give together often stay together.”

The legacy Brad’s grandpa left him is so strong, that after he heard those immigrants saying, “I like bike,” he began work on a series of films called “I Like Giving”—a collection of inspiring stories of generosity that have now been viewed more than 100 million times in more than 170 countries. And, with Brad’s help, Drew has written a book called Everyday Generosity: Becoming a Generous Family in a Selfie World, about how kids and their parents can be generous together.

Brad explains a first-hand experience of this that still motivates him. “One day my grandfather called me into his office and held up a piece of paper. I remember seeing about 20 different organizations, along with a dollar amount of where he gave,” Brad says. “I was 11. It seemed like a lot of money, but I didn’t know how to process that. I wish I still had that list today, because it would reveal my grandpa’s heart, since that’s where he put his treasure.”

What Brad does still have from his grandfather is a letter he wrote him when Brad was 14:

Dear Brad,

Winston Churchill said, “You make a living out of what you get and a life out of what you give.” I think this is well worth remembering.

Love Gramps.

You can learn more about the Formsmas at bradformsma.com. Check out The WOW Factor Podcast: Words Of Wisdom from extraordinary leaders to help you grow in business and beyond, hosted by Brad, wherever you listen to podcasts.

This post originally appeared on the National Christian Foundation website, ncfgiving.com . To learn more about their creative solutions and explore giving strategies, contact Joe Pringle and the Chicago team by visiting their website or reaching out at chicago@ncfgiving.com.

Practical Steps When Facing Difficult Decisions

Introducing Global Leadership Network

This is part one of a three-part series which includes 16 Free Resources for Leadership in a Season of Crisis.

With the outbreak of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) on the rise in many places around the world, people are asking, what do I do next? Many are looking for guidance and direction to make the next best decision to protect themselves, their families, their staff and their communities.

While we at the Global Leadership Network certainly make no claims of healthcare expertise, we recognize that sound leadership in a season of crisis can help prepare us for a new reality, solve difficult problems and provide hope.

Below we’ve curated 5 free leadership resources from our GLS alumni faculty and guest leadership contributors who share practical steps for facing difficult decisions as you start to engage with a crisis.

 

6 Ways to Prepare and Lead Through Chaos

ARTICLE

Bishop Walter Harvey shares practical tips on how he prepared for and handled crisis when chaos hit his community. 

 

Bend the Curve

ARTICLE

Craig Groeschel dives into how to make decisions under pressure and how our limitations often lead to innovation. 

 

7 Crucial Steps to Lead Others Through Change

ARTICLE

Dee Ann Turner provides 7 crucial steps to successfully manage change within your team by providing clarity.

 

Leading and Succeeding in the Age of Disruption

ARTICLE

Learn from Ben Sherwood’s practical advice on how to get going and start moving when you’re faced with disruption in your organization. 

 

4 Ways to Control Your Emotions in Tense Moments

ARTICLE

Joseph Grenny helps us recognize, own and shape our own emotions so that we don’t make impulsive decisions in intense moments. 

 

If you’re looking for additional resources to support you in your leadership, visit the Grow section on globalleadership.org. We are honored to serve you during this season.

 

Part 2: Practical Tools for a New Working Atmosphere >>

 

Part 3: Overcoming Fear & Embracing Both Reality and Hope >>

Overcoming Fear & Embracing Both Reality and Hope

Introducing Global Leadership Network

This is part three of a three-part series which includes 16 Free Resources for Leadership in a Season of Crisis.

With the outbreak of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) on the rise in many places around the world, people are asking, what do I do next? Many are looking for guidance and direction to make the next best decision to protect themselves, their families, their staff and their communities.

While we at the Global Leadership Network certainly make no claims of healthcare expertise, we recognize that sound leadership in a season of crisis can help prepare us for a new reality, solve difficult problems and provide hope.

Below we’ve curated 5 free leadership resources from our GLS alumni faculty and guest leadership contributors who share their experiences with overcoming fear and embracing both reality and hope.

We hope these resources encourage you and help keep your perspective, even if you may be experiencing fear or anxiety.

 

The Secret to Mastering Worry and Fear

ARTICLE

Erwin Mcmanus talks about how to establish peace and maintain wisdom in the face of stress, anxiety and fear. 

 

Fear-Less Leadership

ARTICLE

Jossy Chacko talks about balancing fear in our leadership so that we’re neither full of fear, but not completely without fear as we face challenges. 

 

Techniques for Managing Anxiety

VIDEO

In this short video, Jason Jaggard discusses the practices you can add into your day that help counter anxiety. 

 

Ep 044: Danielle Strickland with Jeff Lockyer

PODCAST

In this podcast episode, Danielle Strickland dives into how leadership is most important in seasons of fear and uncertainty. She challenges us with the question, does God have a plan in chaos

 

The Power of Doing Absolutely Nothing

ARTICLE

Susan Carons dives into how prayer and meditation can be a powerful tool for calming anxiety. 

 

If you’re looking for additional resources to support you in your leadership, visit the Grow section on globalleadership.org. We are honored to serve you during this season.

 

Part 1: Practical Steps When Facing Difficult Decisions >>

 

Part 2: Practical Tools for a New Working Atmosphere >>

Practical Tools for a New Working Atmosphere

Introducing Global Leadership Network

This is part two of a three-part series which includes 16 Free Resources for Leadership in a Season of Crisis.

With the outbreak of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) on the rise in many places around the world, people are asking, what do I do next? Many are looking for guidance and direction to make the next best decision to protect themselves, their families, their staff and their communities.

While we at the Global Leadership Network certainly make no claims of healthcare expertise, we recognize that sound leadership in a season of crisis can help prepare us for a new reality, solve difficult problems and provide hope.

Below we’ve curated 6 free leadership resources from our GLS alumni faculty and guest leadership contributors who share practical tools for the new working atmosphere that many of us have found ourselves in recently.

 

Managing Remote Workforce: 7 Things You Need to Know

ARTICLE

The late Jack Welch talks about what you need to know to manage a remote workforce. 

 

Entering the Danger

VIDEO

In this short video Patrick Lencioni talks about how avoiding difficult realities may have greater negative consequences later

 

Four Rules for Having Constructive Conflict over Email

ARTICLE

Joseph Grenny discusses how the absence of accountability and trust that seeing someone’s face promotes, means we have to be especially careful in a day and age where conflict over email can be dangerous

 

5 Tips for Emotionally Intelligent Emailing

ARTICLE

Travis Bradberry dives into the five strategies for keeping your emotions within reason so that you don’t hit “send” while your emails, tweets, comments and virtual chime-ins are still flaming.

 

Ep 031: Sheila Heen with Jeff Lockyer (Part 1)

PODCAST

In this two-part podcast series, Jeff Lockyer interviews difficult conversations expert, Sheila Heen, on how to structure difficult conversations, and the need to shift our stance to one of curiosity. 

 

Ep 032: Sheila Heen with Jeff Lockyer (Part 2)

PODCAST

 

If you’re looking for additional resources to support you in your leadership, visit the Grow section on globalleadership.org. We are honored to serve you during this season.

 

Part 3: Overcoming Fear & Embracing Both Reality and Hope >>

 

Part 1: Practical Steps When Facing Difficult Decisions >>

6 Ways to Prepare and Lead Through Chaos

Emergency Pull Lever

One of the hardest things a leader will ever do is lead in the midst of chaos. Difficult seasons can pull out the best, or the worst in someone and their team.

Bishop Walter Harvey leads Parklawn Assembly of God Church in the heart of Milwaukee. Little did he know how God would use the Summit to prepare him and his team before a series of events led to the August 13, 2016 Milwaukee riots.

Difficult seasons in leadership are unavoidable. So how do you prepare for it? And what are the outcomes in leading well through chaos?

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Bishop Walter shares what he learned from leading his church through the Milwaukee riots, and how the Summit came at a strategic season in the church’s ministry.

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1. Invest in your leadership and develop the leadership capacity of your team

One of our church values is investing in leadership. For example, I am committed to reading one book each week and listening to 5-10 podcasts or messages each week. My leadership team also signed on to read and listen to podcasts regularly. We each submit a summary of our takeaways at monthly gatherings. It is more than a task for us; it’s a journey and covenant to greater development. We know those we lead will benefit when our leadership bucket is full.

2. Clarify your mission

I have a personal mission statement: “Live Full—Die Empty.” It means I must maintain a full capacity of passionate leadership, which I am depositing into younger leaders, so when I pass, I have no regrets, nor do I cause the next generation to wish they had received more from me.

God has placed on my heart the dream of a place where streets are safe, neighborhoods are clean, families are united and resourced, employment and entrepreneurship are fair and free-flowing, children are educated and held in high esteem, government (police and elected officials) are taking leadership from and in partnership with the citizens in an environment that is not antagonistic or partisan, churches are building people holistically and the young adult generation is positioned to regenerate this dream to the next group of emerging leaders.

Without a clear mission and vision, we cannot accomplish this dream.

3. Be present and show up, even in your imperfection

Despite poverty and a sense of hopelessness inside the city, I am not discouraged. I’m actually encouraged, and I try to see my city through spiritual eyes.

The August 2016 riots erupted a few blocks from our church, revealing our scars and imperfections. They highlighted the deep sense of frustration and disenfranchisement of many poor and spiritually impoverished people in our city.

They also highlighted the church in both its broken and healthy states. At our worst, we are segregated, in competition with one another, too committed to our denominations and prideful doctrines than we are to the people in our communities. At our best, we came together in our imperfections and displayed our scars to each other.

Scars tell a story! We walked among the people who gathered around the scene of the riot. We talked with them, prayed and began to develop relationships with them. We loved, listened, learned and then we were allowed to lead many of them to light. The light meant taking them to church, inviting them into our homes and lives, connecting some with educational opportunities and jobs. It was definitely not a one-way transaction. We, the local church received just as much. We received

  • Rebuke for not being there before the riot occurred.
  • Guarded trust that had to be stewarded to gain more.
  • Acknowledgment that we did come, despite our imperfections. Our scars were revealed and not covered up.

My prayer is that many would declare a personal faith in Jesus as their Lord and their God.

4. Open your heart and your doors for God to work in and through you

Prior to the riots, our church had been led to create space in our hearts and schedules for what we called a “surge” of souls—our church theme in 2016. We introduced people to Christ, welcomed them into discipleship programs and invited them to serve in the church and community. A year earlier, God had whispered to me to “to prepare for the surge.”

And on August 13, the surge was outside our doors.

The greatest outcome was seeing many other churches follow our lead and join us. These relationships are still intact and growing stronger. Together, we continue to provide leadership and partnership with the government. We provide mentoring and assistance to the public schools we adopted.

Most of all, we continue to provide the gift of presence where previously there was pain and anger.

5. Look outside your walls, and realign your focus

If I had not attended the GLS, I would have been an observer during this time of crisis, rather than being an instrument in God’s hand, rewriting human and heavenly history. The church I lead would have continued to focus on the inside condition rather than on the surge outside.

Our church has realigned our focus outside our walls. We don’t want to be churches that only draw attention during moments of crisis and then fade away. Here are the ways we realigned our focus:

  • We developed an “adopt a block” program that continues to clean the neighborhoods as well as provide the gift of presence in the park where children play.
  • We organize a group of pastors to partner with us in adopting neighborhoods, schools and connect people spiritually to God.
  • We realigned our church budget, strategy, staff and programs to facilitate youth and community outreach.
  • We sponsor community events, youth game nights and sporting events.
  • We even changed our midweek service from being church focused to being community focused.
  • We are repurposing our church kitchen into a food incubation space for entrepreneurs.
  • Finally, we have strategized for economic development in order to sustain these changes with financial resources.

6. Don’t wait. Don’t stop. Dance!

Don’t wait until crisis happens. But if it does, go among the people safely and wisely. Lead by serving in a way that honors God and is consistent with Scripture.

Finally, don’t stop loving, listening and learning. Be consistent. That is the place where the Holy Spirit is dancing. Since August 13, we have been following His lead as He takes us in His arms to dance. Let Him lead you, spin you, dip you, toss you—even catch you. He won’t drop you!

____

We are grateful for leaders like Bishop Walter Harvey who lead churches that bring healing and hope to broken communities through restoration and showing the servant heart of Jesus in tangible ways. May difficult seasons in your life bring out your best leadership.

How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence

GLS20 Vanessa Van Edwards Faculty Spotlight Article Header
This article is a part of The Global Leadership Summit Faculty Spotlight series where we feature content from the upcoming #GLS20 speakers. This is a great opportunity to get a taste of what to expect from these amazing leaders!

 

The GLS team is excited to introduce you to an amazing new voice who is sure to become a Summit audience favorite! Vanessa Van Edwards will be joining us to share insights from her best-selling book Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People.

Watch this video to learn her simple tips on how to increase your conversation skills.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMmnPpjtU7c?rel=0

 

There’s a science behind having a good conversation.

And the good news is it can be used in any situation: professional networking events, business meetings, social events—even meeting your in-laws for the first time. The science is the same.

 

Step #1: Intention

The best conversationalists always set the intention for the conversation before they start. So, on your way to an event ask yourself, “What do I want to get out of this event or my interaction with this person?” It could be new business, getting to know someone or even just having a good time. Just setting that intention ahead of time helps you guide your conversation.

 

Step #2: Approach

When you think about conversation, you usually think about the first line. But research shows your first impression happens before the conversation starts—when you first see someone. The best conversationalists start their conversation on the approach. Think about your body language. You want your hands to be visible and your shoulders down and back. And you want to smile. When you smile at someone, it warms them up. Your smile is your opening line.

 

Step #3: Opener

There was an extensive research experiment that looked at almost every conversation starter possible—and there was one that far outweighed the rest. It sounds so simple, “Hello. How are you? “If you think about it, you really don’t want to say anything too intense when you first start. So, you start with the smile and say, “Hey. How are you.” It’s just a nice, natural start.

 

Step #4: Sparks

After the opener, the best conversationalists look for conversation sparks. This is the difference between a dazzling conversation and a “meh” conversation. You want to be curious. Across cultures, across genders and across races, the universal non-verbal curiosity cue is the eyebrow raise. Anytime anyone says something interesting, we raise our eyebrows. So, you are looking for topics, conversations and stories that cause the other person to raise their eyebrows.

Look for mutual likes. Do you like the same kinds of restaurants, vacations or sports? When someone responds with an eyebrow raise, you know you’ve hit a spark. Then you can go down that rabbit hole in the conversation.

 

Step #5: Exits

We often don’t think about how to end a conversation, but actually your last impression is just as important as your first impression. So, if you want to end a conversation, try the future-mention. You might ask what the other person is doing next weekend or later today. The future-mention subtly shifts our focus from the present to the future. Once they share their plans, it’s your cue to end the conversation by saying, “It was great speaking with you today and I wish you the best on (whatever they are doing that weekend).”

Want to hear more? Watch the full video to see Vanessa’s advice on:

  • How your body language signals whether you are approachable at a party
  • What checking your cell phone communicates in a social situation
  • Where the best place is to stand at a networking event

This video originally appeared on Vanessa Van Edwards’ YouTube Channel.

 

Join Vanessa Van Edwards and 14 other incredible speakers for The Global Leadership Summit on Thursday and Friday, August 6-7, 2020. Get ready for your two-day infusion of fresh ideas, actionable concepts, leadership principles and heartfelt inspiration from a world-class faculty at a location near you!

click this button to find a Summit near your location to attend